Since I started this whole working for a living to buy my daily bread, I've barely seen Breezy. I leave before she gets up in the morning and she's out by the time I get in. I would say life has been great as a result, but I do miss her.
She wears far too much pink and sometimes she doesn't always appreciate my opinion, the words "I can't believe you're still talking" being a regular reply to lots of things I talk to her about.
I said to her yesterday, during one of the brief snatches of time I could grab with her, that we should do something over the weekend together, but she shot me down. She's gone band rehearsals to go to and songs to write with her group. She doesn't have anytime for me anymore.
I offered to help her out. I've got a music GCSE (grade B) and have been highly commended on my song writing skills in the past. There was the donkey song I wrote on Studentbum that generated a lot of buzz in the industry and the Christmas carol I wrote for my nephew about a lonely turkey. I'm putting that on iTunes.
She looked like she might take me up on my offer, but then I asked for my contribution to be credited in the sleeve notes to the "Hitmaker" and told her that that was my nickname because every song I've ever had a hand in writing has been a hit.
She looked a bit like she didn't believe me, so I ushered her over to the Casio keyboard in the cupboard under our stairs and played her my chord. The "missing hit maker", so called because if it's missing from a song, you'll be missing a hit. I said that's what I can bring to this project. She looked me up and down, told me off for being ridiculous and stormed out the front door.
"Pah! Whatever!" I thought "I don't need her!"
Then I realised that I don't. I really don't. I barely see her anyway and it seems to suit her, I'll just have to do something so that this situation suits me too. But what?
I sat and pondered this over a cup of coffee. I figured out that what I wanted was someone to replace Breezy, but not like her in the slightest. Someone who when I say, "Lets spend some time together!" doesn't run away. Someone that when I throw my arms up in the air and announce that we should go to the pub, doesn't say no and makes me sit down again in my seat and put my finger on my lips.
I want someone who is nothing like Breezy and acts like a younger sibling should. Someone I can mould and inspire and will turn to me, their big sis, for advice and guidance. Breezy never takes my advice and the only thing I inspire in her is hatred.
I thought little sisters were supposed to hanker after being allowed to hang out with their older siblings. If I invite Breezy out with me and my friends, she usually says something about wanting to go out and have a good time.
No, having a little sister had not worked out for me at all. What I need is a little brother!
It'll be great. I'll take him out for beer and I'll let him hang around me and my girl mates. He'd love it. We'd spend weekends together just chatting and shit. I've got a Playstation and we could have tournaments on it and then he'd drag me out to watch the football. Then when he's having a crisis he'd come to me and hang on every word I say.
He'd try and make me listen to Blink 182 and I'd try and shove some Morrisey down his earholes instead. I'd make him watch the soaps and he would try and get me to appreciate Top Gear and Brainiac. We could learn so much from each other.
A little brother. That's what I need. But how do I go about getting one? Hmmmm.